No Roses
by abcalfs
Summary: Their meetings were never purposely planned. The moment when a pair of blue caught sight of blue instead of purple, and blue met another blue instead of indigo, someone wondered if a lost love had finally come home.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Their meetings were never purposely planned. The moment when a pair of blue caught sight of blue instead of purple, and blue met another blue instead of indigo, someone wondered if a lost love had finally come home.

 **Disclaimer:** They're not mind, obviously.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 _(Tic Toc)_

 _(00.05.27)_

She scribbled down her notes. Her books opened and sprayed across her desk

 _(Tic Toc)_

 _(00.03.50)_

Aoko put down her pen and glanced over the clock. She couldn't concentrate on her studying

 _(The clock hand stroke twelve in the morning)_

Her phone buzzed off. She took it and stared at the screen. A note reminder she put on Kaito's birthday popped up.

A soft smile formed instantly at seeing this but was quickly replaced as she remembered another thing.

 _(Tic Toc)_

 _(00.03.00)_

It was Kid's heist tonight. _Stupid thief running a heist on his birthday._

 _(Tic Toc)_

 _(00.02.12)_

Aoko took a deep breath and touched her phone, preparing to make a call. Her eyes settled on a blue rose he gave her this evening after she scolded him for dying Hakuba's hair green again.

Waiting for the line to connect, she wondered if Kaito had found the cake and the gift she put on his dining table. Her line went dead and she blinked confusedly at the screen. She called him again, but it never reached his phone.

 _Urgh he must have gone to the heist and cheered for him!_

 _(Tic Toc)_

 _(00.01.16)_

Aoko typed down a message and decided to go off to bed, determined to scold her best friend tomorrow.

 _(Tic Toc)_

 _(00.00.00)_

'Happy birthday, Kaito!'

The blast sound at the Kid's heist never reached her ears

\- O -

Shinichi would've never imagined tonight would turn out this way.

He was on his way back to his apartment after a meeting in the headquarter. His colleague offered to drive him home because his car's still being repaired after crashing in the last case.

He was tired and almost dropped off to sleep when suddenly there was a loud bang sound and his partner immediately stepped on the brake, almost sending his head to hit against the dashboard.

"What-"

"Kudo, look!"

All of his systems were alert. Something-or rather-a man wearing black mantel whom Takuma had accidentally hit before had already stood up and ran away. People started to gather around scene, but Shinichi noticed a lady stood far away from their spot shouting and waving her hands. He rolled down the glass.

"Help!"

"Look after the victim! I'll go after him," he abruptly shouted to his partner. He got out from the car, head off to ran after the dark figure of the thief. His heartbeat quickened as he saw the man slipped into a narrow space between two shops. He followed him, where there was a large fence and Shinichi thought that it was a dead end for the man. Otherwise, he successfully managed to climb it. Behind those rails was a main street full of people and if the robber succeeded to get out of here, he could easily blend into those people wandering around.

Shinichi almost wished that he had his soccer ball with him so he could make the man stopped in the track. He almost thought he had lose him until a writhed sound can be heard not far for him. The sound led him to a deserted street. He wasn't sure what he found when he saw the culprit sputtered on the ground and struggling on a woman's clutch who held both of his hands on his back, attempting to handcuff him.

"I'm sorry-I'm sorry I didn't mean to-I haven't eaten since yesterday please let me go-"

"Quiet, Sir!" the woman shouted back. "Thieving is thieving, no matter what the reason is." He couldn't make out her figure, but there was something uncanny at how she said those words.

Shinichi slowly walked to them while showing his officer badge. "Miss, I'm an officer-"

"Hang on, I can manage." She replied back while still trying to put the other handcuff to the man, thus made him wondered why her voice also showed no uneasy feeling. It looked like she had handled a situation like this before.

"Miss, it's dangerous-" She didn't bother to look up. The handcuff finally circled around the man's wrists with a click. A hand touched his shoulder and Shinichi found Takuma standing there trying to catch his breath. There was another officer beside him as well. "The lady's safe. I brought the third division officer with me."

Their attention was snapped back to the woman in front of them. She's still holding the man's arms behind his back. "There you go. Now there's a real officer waiting for you."

When she turned around to face them, Shinichi almost could not believe his eyes.

He stood still. An arm that had been holding his badge and handcuff was lowered slowly and hanging into his side. The third division officer took the initiative to take the man and brought him away after saying his thanks to them, but Shinichi couldn't care any of it. A strong feeling of emotions suddenly filled him up and in the next second he had already stepped closer to the woman and shook her with all his might.

"Why did you do that?!"

Takuma had never seen Shinichi snapped before so he was taken aback by his partner's action. "K-Kudo-"

 _Raw feelings of emotions- Angry. Worried. Hurt._

 _(Scared)_

He didn't know why, but this time he felt that it hurt so much. He found it really hard to breathe like there was a string that clutched his heart and tightened it strong. He looked at the woman in front of him, tightening his grip on her arms although it must be hurt for her as well, but he didn't care. All he could think about was how he felt like he's going to explode.

"Why couldn't you just walk away and trust this kind of business to the police? Why did you put yourself in danger?!"

"I-"

"What if the man brings a knife or-or a gun? What if he's part of some organization-"

"Kudo!"

He got back his sense when Takuma pulled him away from the woman, strong enough to send him backwards.

"He's probably just some random thief who needs money to eat. What happens to you? You frightened her."

He looked back at the woman who's standing behind his colleague. She was definitely taken aback. His blue eyes' piercing right through hers intently that almost made Takuma shuddered.

Reality struck back to him. It was reflected when his eyes grew bigger and he could finally see the way all of the lady's figure was shaking. Her lips were shaking and her eyes clearly held several tears in them.

 _No... No. Her eyes are different. She's-she's not Ran_

Takuma once again brought him to reality, touching his shoulder. "Kudo, are you alright?"

He took a deep breath before nodding to his friend. "I-I'm alright."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

After Takuma had convinced that his partner was alright, he turned to the woman behind him and apologized to her. This moment when he's finally calm down, Shinichi could see clearly the woman in front of him. She really looked like Ran... But her face's not sharp enough. Her eyes were blue, deep blue that Shinichi might tell it's a little darker than the shade of his own eyes. Her hair was a bit messier and fell just below her shoulder. That fact alone seemed like become a click in his head.

 _Ran's was violet…_

 _Ran always kept her hair long…_

 _Ran's already dead_

Takuma's voice filled his ears this time. "I'm terribly sorry, Nakamori-san. Are you sure you'll be okay going home on your own?" The woman nodded to Takuma and gave a weak smile. She sent a look to him, one he couldn't understand what that meant. She was staring at him intently, looking very determined as if she was searching for something in his face. Was she mad at him? Because had given her an unpleasant memory for their first meeting. Shinichi only responded to her by bowing his head and said his apology, although his face might not show a genuine emotion at all. He still didn't know what he's supposed to do at the moment.

Later that night, he came home and crashed into his bed, losing his appetite for a late dinner. He was so tired and all of his energy was drained out of him. The image of one certain lady he met for this evening was still glued to his mind, reminding him of someone who held his heart until he fell asleep, dreaming about some old memories.

\- O -

The next three weeks were really busy for him. The event of seeing a certain woman who's similar to Ran was erased in his mind until one evening, Professor Agasa asked him a favor to bring Ayumi her textbook she left behind on the last visit.

After giving back her book, Ayumi insisted for him to join the dinner she and her mother had prepared. He managed a smile and only agreed after seeing her pleaded with her eyes so big and full of hope.

When he entered the place to change his shoes, Shinichi saw a pair of woman's shoes that was put in the middle of the floor, which probably meant there was also a guest.

"Ayumi-chan, is it alright if I join tonight? It seems you have other guest." He asked the teen in front of him as he pointed at the woman's shoes. "Oh, it's alright, Shinichi nii-san. It's my math teacher from learning center. She also helps me with my music test tomorrow. Nii-san can wait in the dining room, my teacher is already there," Ayumi excused herself to help her mother.

Shinichi gave an affirmation as he headed to the room. Of course, he remembered where it was. He came here often as Conan, as well as with Ran once or twice after _he_ came back. He stopped in the entrance when suddenly a dangerous thought came to his mind. _If Ran's still alive, Ayumi would probably asked her help in music test..._

Deciding that he had enough, Shinichi shook his head, wondering if his mind could be any messier than it already had.

He got his answer right then and there though.

Taking a step and entered the room, he saw a woman sitting on the piano chair across him. Her dark hair passed a little below her shoulder with her back facing at him. She was playing some melodic tunes that he couldn't guess to any song he knew.

The sound of his steps finally gained her attention that she just realized there was another presence in the room. She turned around to face him, thinking it was her student. "Ayumi-"

 _Ah… When would fate stop torturing him?_

She was the woman whom he met at the evening some weeks before. Someone who looked a lot like Ran and almost sending him off the edge for all the time he's been trying to put up without her by his side.

It seemed that he could hear the very sound of his own heartbeat as he closed his eyes. Sweat started forming in his hands even though he suddenly felt so cold at the moment. Did he miss Ran too much for him to lose his mind and start hallucinating? He could only hope it would be gone.

 _Please it hurt too much. She's gone, it wasn't real-_

"-to?"

 _Huh?_

"K-Kaito?"

When he opened his eyes, he thought his heart would explode from seeing the image in front of him. His emotions were controlling him that he wasn't aware of the words she uttered to him. He felt his heart clenched, unconsciously holding his breath the entire time. He needed to brace himself. _She wasn't Ran._ No one should be able to do this to him beside Ran. His sight was getting a little blurry but he tried to focus himself.

When he finally looked at her, he just realized that she was now standing in front of him just an arm length, eyes uncertain. Her hand was half a way reaching out to him as if she tried to pull him to her.

"Kaito-". Her hands touched his arm and he jerked away from the touch. She quickly retracted it again like she was so sure he had shattered down like a form of glass.

Shinichi noticed her quivering lips. He could see the tears also forming in the corner of her eyes, but why? Why did she look very startled and... sad?

In a moment, she took a step back away from him. Ayumi chose this moment to enter the room to set the table. The girl seemed so oblivious to the quiet air between the two and encouraged them to take a seat after introducing them to each other.

"Shinichi nii-san, here is Nakamori Aoko sensei, my math teacher in learning center, and Aoko sensei, it's Kudo Shinichi nii-san, he is a great detective and an inspector at division one at the police department," Ayumi said proudly.

 _Nakamori… Aoko?_

He stared at her for a while. He was not acknowledged her name on their first meeting before. For the formality, he offered her his hand. "Kudo Shinichi. Nice to meet you... Nakamori-san."

The name was a stranger in his tongue, but her family name seemed unfamiliar to him.

Instead of welcoming the gesture, she eyed him hesitantly. "… Kudo Shinichi?"

"Yes. I believe we haven't introduced ourselves properly… last time."

After a while, she took his hand in hers. He felt it so cold at the moment.

"It's nice to meet you, too… Kudo-kun."

The dinner was nice. Ayumi told them a lot of school stuff she learned. She entered the same junior high school with Haibara, Mitsuhiko, and Genta. He listened to it, trying to catch up with the kids because the last time he met them was about three years ago in Ran's funeral. And Haibara... The last time he talked to her was a year after the incident. Shinichi had decided to leave his house and rented his own apartment, feeling uncomfortable for finding his home filled so much with her memories. In the end, he really was happy to hear that they were all alright. He wondered though, why Ayumi didn't ask him how he was after the incident. Professor must be telling the children already not to mention it in front of him.

Ayumi's mother asked him of his work in the office and how he had been doing. He managed a small smile, "It's like the usual, although it's been a little busy."

"You work with the police?"

It was a sudden question he was not anticipated from the woman in front of him.

"Ah I know it!" Ayumi suddenly exclaimed. "Have Shinichi nii-san and Aoko sensei met before? Aoko sensei previously worked in division two before, isn't that right, Sensei?" Ayumi suddenly asked.

Ah that's where he heard the name before. Inspector Nakamori.

The girl in question instinctively put down her utensils. "Yes, but it's didn't last long, Ayumi-chan."

He raised his head and met her blue eyes. "Then could it be that you are the former Inspector Nakamori's daughter?"

She paused for a moment before nodded at him. "Yes, I am."

When an image of Ran flashed by again suddenly, he quickly changed his gaze to the other side.

\- O -

The dinner mostly filled up with Ayumi sharing her stories, which brought a light atmosphere around them. One thing that puzzled him was how Nakamori-san seemed to stare at him the entire time. He tried to be oblivious, but her stare was so intense.

"Shinichi nii-san, you eat the fish!" Ayumi burst out after seeing Shinichi picked one of the salmon on the table. He raised his eyebrows. "Why shouldn't I?"

The girl giggled. "You once said you were afraid of fish. Don't you remember?"

Somehow, the one who should be startled was not him, but the lady in front of him who unintentionally dropped her fork on the floor, making a cling sound on the process.

Nakamori-san quickly kneeled down to pick it up, "I'm sorry-"

"Oh dear," Ayumi's mother started. "Don't mind it. I'll take a new one for you."

He wondered about the commotion, but suddenly his phone rang. He excused himself to the others and picked up the call. It was Superintendent Megure, telling him to go back to the office because they found another lead. After he entered the room again, he apologized that he must leave earlier.

He gathered his things just as Ayumi insisted to send him away until the front door. She went earlier to take his coat. His eyes met Nakamori-san's, but he only gave her a small nod. As he was about to leave the room, she abruptly called his name.

"Kudo-kun-"

He turned back at her and waited for what she needed to say. "Yes?"

"Are you-Are you really afraid of fish?"

 _Huh?_

He shook his head. "I actually find no need to be afraid of it, Nakamori-san."

She stared down at her lap. "I see."

Although her question pondered him for a while, the image of her face couldn't leave him as he left the building and headed to his car. She looked kind of sad after he answered her. _But why?_

The daughter of Inspector Nakamori, who looked so much like Ran nevertheless. He hadn't seen that sad face of Ran ever since _he_ came back. Therefore... when he saw it this time, he felt his heart hurt as well.

He didn't understand.

\- O -

What Shinichi did not expect was a text he received from her a couple days later, asking him to meet her in front of the old clock tower. In the middle of the night too for God's sake. He had just finished his work and wanted to go straight at home when he read her email.

' _I'll be waiting for you in front of the clock tower. Nakamori Aoko.'_

There were many things in his head now. How did she get his number? She barely knew him at all and vice versa, why did she want to see him? Why did she choose a place like this? It was in the other side of the city and it took him almost thirty minutes driving.

The ground was covered with snow. The winter breeze chilled him out as he walked around the building, searching for Nakamori-san's figure among other people. There were not many people here. It was freezing outside and other people probably much prefer to just warm their selves at home.

He checked his watch and sighed

 _21.35_

Looking at the scenery in front of him, his mind brought him back to the memory when he first encountered with that thief. Shinichi closed his eyes. Remembering how awful the last night of Kaitou Kid's heist went.

"Kudo-kun?"

He opened his eyes and met a pair of blue eyes again. Nakamori-san stood before him. This time, he decided not to beat around the bush and just asked her straight to the point. "Why do you ask to meet me, Nakamori-san?"

Instead of answering, she took a step closer to him. Her eyes become more focus as she stared at his face. He remained rooted to the ground, waiting for her.

"Do you find this place anything familiar?"

"What do you mean?"

"Familiar... like a certain place where you have met someone. You've been here before, right?"

There was something in her voice that he could not grasp what it was. Her eyes softened with each second past between them.

"I've been here once."

It seemed his answer lightened some hope in her eyes as she set her eyes to him and only him. "Do you remember any of it?"

Meanwhile, all he could think was the Kid's heist again and he unconsciously stepped away from her. "Listen, Nakamori-san. We've only met once. Twice, technically. What makes you think I'll share anything about my memories?" He obviously startled her by his reply. He tried to steer clear of her, wishing this moment would end in reason that seeing her breathing and very much living in front him just reminded him of how _unbreathing_ Ran was.

She didn't back off despite him giving her the cold shoulder. She continued by asking him such a random question that did not make any sense to him. "If you are not afraid of fish, then why did Ayumi-chan said so?"

He raised his eyebrow. "I find the topic isn't related to me or you at all, Nakamori-san." He scoffed at her. "Really. Do you actually want to see me just for asking that?"

"Answer me." Her face was unreadable that he could not find anything. What she was thinking, what she wanted from him, he did not understand. "I don't even know how Ayumi-chan come into that conclusion."

"Kaito."

"What?"

"Kaito's afraid of fish."

When he thought about it, she also called him that when they met again in Ayumi's house.

"Kaito's afraid of fish," she continued, "and so do you as Ayumi-chan has said."

"Nakamori-san, I don't understand what you are talking about. "

A gust of wind flew by as she closed the gap between them. He became aware of a fair scent of alcohol from her. "Do you not remember anything at all?"

"Nakamori-san, you're drunk-"

She abruptly held on his coat and he could see her fingers trembling. At this rate, Shinichi realized of the tears that escaped from the corner of her eyes. "Do you not remember me at all, Kuroba Kaito?!"

His eyes widened as the woman in front of him was suddenly shaking him with all her might. He spontaneously took a grip on her shoulder, trying to let go of her grasp. That was the moment when he realized how drenched her coat was. Why did not he realize it sooner? How long was she actually standing out here waiting for hi-

He realized one more thing.

 _Kuroba Kaito?_ Did she mistake him for someone? A second later, Shinichi finally understood the situation. "Wait, Nakamori-san-"

"Nakamori-san, Nakamori-san, Nakamori-san, I'm sick of it!"

She lowered her face and hid it on his coat. "You left me for six years only to come back by the name of another person. You left me without any trace to find you. You left me with no clue if you're alive or not!"

She paused and sobbed. "Everyone left me, Kaito. Your mother, Jii-chan. They told me to give you up and left. All had gone as if you were just my imagination."

Shinichi honestly didn't know what to do. He did nothing to calm her, let alone telling her that he was not the one she thought he was. She was crying before him, asking him where _Kaito_ had been all this time. Her voice was painful to hear. Her secrets she told was not meant anything for him at all. She looked like a lost child, grasping his coat tightly as if her life depended on it.

Her voice was croaked as she whispered to him. "The last rose you gave me had wilted, Kaito. Why didn't you give me a new one?"

When she stared up at him again, he could clearly see the shade of blue in her eyes. She gave him a weak smile. One of her hand raised slowly to touch his face.

"I miss you."

The next thing he knew, she suddenly fainted in his arms.

\- O –

He knew he should not bring her to his place, but it was late and her phone was locked with password, so he had no idea whom he should contact. Right now, after he took care of her, she slept soundly in his room. He sat on a chair beside her, staring at her face as he thought back about the words she said before.

Kuroba Kaito. Where had he heard the name before?

There was something in his head literally shouting that he knew the name, yet he could not crack it open to reach it. W _ho is it?_

His eyes fell upon a picture on his bedside table. Shinichi picked up the frame and touched it softly. His gaze once again couldn't help but staring at Nakamori-san's face.

Shinichi wiped his face as he realized the irony. She reminded him of Ran, while he himself also reminded her of someone precious to her. That was the least he was certain of.

Deciding that it was enough, he hid the picture on his drawer before looked down to her white coat that was drenched from the snow. How long had she been standing there until he came?

 _How many times has she stood there waiting for Kuroba Kaito to come?_

He sighed and decided to leave the room to rest his back on the couch, burying his head on his folding hand. Shinichi was tired and he hoped he would be able to get some sleep before sunrise.

\- O -


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

"Shinichi, I'm going to buy something on that shop across the street, I'll be back right away, okay?"

He prepared to stand from his seat. "Do you want me to accompany you?"

"No, no, it's fine. You just wait for the food."

"You sure?"

She added a laugh as she tapped on the glass window beside them. "You can literally see me through this glass case, I'll only need a second."

He smiled to her. "Alright."

It was never alright.

It was never alright after she left.

* * *

" _He would not come back"_

 _Says my mind._

" _You waited too fast"_

 _Tells my heart._

* * *

Aoko woke up to the familiar smell coffee. She slowly raised her hand to touch her head. It was pounding hard as she tried to sit. Looking around, she realized that she was not in her room or any room she knew in particular. She tried to remember what happened, but her head hurt and it did not help her at all.

Her bag and her phone were put on the bedside table, but her eyes settled on the drawer instead. It was opened slightly.

She opened it and confused at what she found inside. There was a picture, one that made her instantly remembered what place this was and how she got there. She wanted to slap herself for being so stupid over a single glass of drink if only the picture's not making her puzzled.

A picture of Kudo Shinichi with a girl who looked a lot like her.

She recognized the background as the Tropical Land. A tear slipped her eyes when she remembered her going there with Kaito. She quickly brushed it off.

Aoko got off the bed, holding the old picture in her hand as she gathered her things.

When she exited the room, she glanced around the place. The wall was colored with simple white background. On her left was a kitchen that connected with the living room and-… There was a heavy feeling when she saw a figure sleeping on the couch. She walked over silently and sat before him, finding herself staring at his face longer than before. It was no mistake that he, too, looked a lot like Kaito.

Her breath quickened as she suddenly realized just how much she missed him. Perhaps that was the reason when she dared to lift her hand and hesitantly touched his hair, trying to mess it up a little bit. Perhaps she had gone senseless enough.

The moment her hand almost touched his hair, she was startled when Kudo-kun suddenly caught her wrist, stopping her in the process. His eyes flung open and she found her staring at his blue irises.

"Stop it, Nakamori-san."

She was too stunned to move when he suddenly hurled down beside her on the carpet.

"Listen. I'm not the person you think I am. You've mistaken me. My name's Kudo Shinichi, not Kuroba Kaito."

"And if you find something in common between us, then it is probably a mistake. I have never taken a dislike to a fish, nor even afraid of it. Do you understand?"

She teared her gaze away from him as he let go of her wrist. "I'm sorry."

She could feel his gaze on her, but she was mixed with a feeling of hurt, embarrassed, disappointed.

 _Despair_

Her mind brought her back when she first met him in the deserted street. She thought she was dreaming, seeing him standing over there. She regretted it the moment he left that she didn't asked him right away. When they met again in Ayumi's house, she took every chance to look at his features. To see just how much he looked the same like Kaito and just how much he seemed different too. She's afraid that if she touched him back there, he might disappear again or shattered away. She had tried to convince herself as she listened to the conversation he and Ayumi had during the dinner. She had convinced herself that this man was not _her_ Kaito. That he was just another mislead, another broken hope that crushed her every single time.

But when Ayumi told about him not so fond of fish, she found herself hoping again.

Aoko gritted her teeth as another tear threatened to escape from her eyes. She turned her face away from him and wipe it furiously with the back of her hand.

"Nakamori-san?"

She turned to him again, this time forcing a smile so he would not have to worry. "I'm sorry. It seemed my feelings took control of me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His question made her looked sharp at him. "I mean, you said that you have no lead to find him. Kuroba Kaito, I mean. Perhaps I could lend you a detective help."

He sounded genuine enough that Aoko found it as one thing that disregarded him as Kaito. She settled her gaze to the ground. "Kaito's my best friend. We've been together since childhood."

Kudo-kun listened to her patiently. He probably noticed her talking in present tense, but she didn't care. She's the only one who convinced Kaito's alive and she wanted to stay that way.

"He's a magician, adores his father very much. But after his father dead, he turns to cheer for Kaitou Kid."

"One time, he suddenly left on his birthday. I have prepared a cake and a present for him, but he never went home that day."

She paused. "It was the day of Kaitou Kid's last heist. You remember the case, right?"

She didn't notice Kudo-kun's expression that suddenly looked so stern and serious, and going on instead. "That night I suspected he had probably gone off to look at the show. I found out that there had been explosions in the morning after I looked at the news. I rushed to the scene to meet my father, glad that he only suffered mild wounds."

"They said that Kid was dead because of the tragedy. It was broadcasted live all over Japan when the bombs went off. I couldn't care less about it. I tried to contact Kaito again, but the line went dead."

She inhaled deeply, clearly memorizing every bit of it as if it just happened ten minutes ago. "But several hours after the incident, one of the officer give me Kaito's phone. They said it was found on the scene."

She smiled sadly at him. "It's the only proof that Kaito had gone to the heist."

"They never found a body. Probably because the explosion too. But as long as they never find the evidence that Kaito's dead, it means that he is alive, right?"

At this rate, her voice had wavered. Kudo-kun only sat there, listening to her with his jaw slightly tightened. She did not need to continue her story, she already told him when she thought he was Kaito.

After a while, it was Kudo-kun who broke the silence. He looked hesitant at the beginning as he tried to search for the words.

"Nakamori-san."

"…. Yes?"

"I-" he paused. "I don't only remember the incident." She waited for him to continue. "I was there when it happened." She looked up to him, alarmed, silently hoping. "Do you recall if you run into a person who looks a lot like you?"

He took a deep breath as he turned to face her and looked her straight in the eye. "Listen, Nakamori-san."

"What I'm going to tell you next, you will not like it at all. But you've got to trust me."

She felt her heart beat quickened at every word he said, but by the look on his face, she's not sure whether she wanted to hear him out.

"I met him, Nakamori-san. I met Kaitou Kid." Aoko knitted her eyebrows together. "I thought we are talking about my friend?"

Kudo-kun suddenly gripped her upper arms, locking her there as if he knew she would try to neglect everything he was about to say. His fingers were cold on her skin.

"He was your best friend, Nakamori-san. Kuroba Kaito was Kaitou Kid."

The sky outside was still dark even though the sun had risen. The citizen was ready to start their day today, but for the second time already, she felt like her reality had literally shattered.

"… What are you talking about, Kudo-kun?"

He paused again to reassure himself that it was the best for her if she knew the fact. "Kuroba Kaito was Kaitou Kid, and he was already dead."

Kudo-kun's words echoed in mind, repeated all over again until she finished processing the information. "I was there when it happened and I only managed to survive because he shot me out of the way."

"Y-you must be mistaken, Kudo-kun." She told him, her voice inwardly begging for him to tell her it was a joke.

He looked down at his lap. "I'm sorry."

One of her hand raised slowly to touch her chest, finding it so hard to breath. _Kaito- Kaito_

"Nakamori-san-"

She jerked Kudo-kun's hand away. Her gaze piercing through him in disbelief. "You're lying."

Shinichi kept his gaze to her and shook his head. "No, I don't."

"You're lying-"

This time, Kudo-kun snapped. "Listen, that was the truth! I told you because I don't want you to drown in empty-"

He was trying to snap her out from her dream. His words were like sword, cutting right through her heart. Drawing out her blood, but her heart was already dead.

As Nakamori Aoko shrugged Kudo Shinichi away and ran, she finally realized how half of her soul had left her heart already.

 _It was all bullshit. Right?_

Aoko did not know which one hurt her the most, between knowing that Kaito was Kaitou Kid or the fact that she had lost her hope entirely that he was dead.

There were many things in her head even after she went to Saguru-kun's house for explanation. She never understood why people tend to leave things and push her away without any explanation. She didn't understand even though Saguru-kun had told her they wanted her to move on, to continue her life without knowing anything. But the fact was she never had the chance to step forward. She never really tried to use the chance. She kept waiting, waiting, and waiting for _him_ to come back because she was the only who believed he would be back and who else going to welcome him home?

Aoko never understood before why Kaito had slowly become busier and busier every day. She never understood why he chose to watch Kid's show that night. She kept telling herself, if only-if only he was not going there that night. All this time, she wanted to blame _Kid_ for everything he did, for stealing her father, for hurting her father, and that night he decided to hurt and steal her best friend. All this time, she never succeeded to hate the thief entirely, because what's the use when he was not even appear to hold heist anymore?

Now that she finally understood… Now that she had put the pieces together. She couldn't bring herself to blame Kaitou Kid. She couldn't bring herself to be angry at Kaito for deceiving her. All of that didn't matter if he wasn't even alive to hear her rage.

Still, it didn't stop her from coming home and cried behind her door all night.

\- O –

Was it the alcohol or just herself, she did not know. Once she stepped out from the bus when it reached the familiar building, she could not bring her feet to leave.

She stood there with a rose in her hand. This way, Kaito would find her easier in the crowd. _And it will be so much easier for him if she waited until the crowd had gone._

She did.

Time rolling, mocked her, _challenged her for how long she would be able to postpone her limit._

 _Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc._ The clock ticked off, the tower sang its music as the hand reached twelve.

 _He_ found her standing in front of the clock tower again. The snow had almost covered her shoes and he wondered again how long she had been standing there.

"Nakamori-san. Let's go home."

He heard no replied, but Shinichi knew she heard him. "Nakamori-san."

"No."

"Don't torture yourself like this. You only hurt yourself."

She looked at him with the coldest eyes, as cold as the wind blowing in this night. "You understand nothing of it."

This time he paused, shifting his gaze between her and the ground. "I do."

"You don't."

"Believe me, I do, Nakamori-san!" He added again softly, voice barely more than a whisper. "I do."

"No, you don't, Kudo-kun! You don't understand anything because you had known that Ran-san would never be back as much as you wanted her to be!"

Her outburst surely taken him aback as his eyes grew bigger the moment she mentioned about _her_. His dark blue orbs never left her. "How do you know about it?"

"I asked Ayumi-chan." She told him and handed him a photo she took from his drawer.

It was Shinichi's turn to turn away as he took the picture. "She's already dead, so is Kuroba Kaito." That was it. That was the same false truth everyone had said to her. Aoko held the rose closer to her heart. "No."

Shinichi abruptly leaped out and grabbed her shoulders. She reeked of alcohol, five time stronger than the last time. "Kuroba Kaito is dead! Face it, Nakamori-san!" He forced her to look at him, but then again she refused. "He's not! He'll come home-"

"Look at me! Damn it, Nakamori-san, look at me!"

Tears started to roll down her face as she saying to herself, telling him, that Kaito will be back. Her heart ached, her head ached, she lost half of her heart, how could she still breathe?

When her blue eyes finally met him, she thought she saw a flash of Kaito, but he wasn't.

"I don't want you hurt." He said softly. She wondered how their voice sounded the same. "So please… please…" One of Shinichi's hand touched her cheek where the other slowly reached up to open her trembling hand. It was cold and he almost jolted out in shock. The rose fell down from her hold, but he caught it, ignoring the scratches on her palm, because only Kaito would be able to give her torn less rose.

He let it slipped from his hold, falling into the ground with its red withering away in the white flakes.

"Stop waiting for him."

As she stood there with him, Aoko sobbed into his coat. Two people, sharing the same hurt, feeling the same pain, experienced the same loss. Meeting her was slowly breaking his solitude, a reality he had force himself to grasp the day Ran had died. Seeing her broken like this reminding him of the days he must face. He decided right there and then. He would not leave her until she found her solitude. His sight's getting blurry as a tear threatened to fall and Shinichi decided to be selfish. _Just once._ His hands reached out to hold her close, silently hearing her painful sobs.

 _Just one time._

\- O -

He kept her close to him, afraid of seeing her standing for hours in the outside for the umpteenth time already. Every night after work, he would drive to the clock tower, finding her figure out there and sitting with her. _Waiting with her._ Though he didn't know who he waited for. Their interactions were limited. They did not talk much. He would tell whatever stories from work, and she would smile lightly.

One time he tried to ease her feelings, but it was a fail attempt as he was taken aback by the heavy feelings in his chest.

"How about we play twenty questions?" He suggested. To his surprise, Aoko chuckled a little.

"We aren't kids anymore, are we?" He merely shrugged. "If acting like kids make us easier to be honest with each other, why not?"

She was quiet for a moment, startled by this familiarity line of words about acting like a kid. Aoko quickly shook her head and smiled. "Okay, sure why not?"

Her companion returned the smile. "What's your favorite color?"

"You're a detective, try to figure it out yourself."

Shinichi raised his eyebrows. "Suddenly, I have a feeling you will say that to every question I ask." She let out a small chuckle.

"Alright. It's blue, isn't it? It's in your name, and you tend to wear blue" She nodded lightly. "Kaito said that blue suited me best. I guess that's really in my name."

He could not help but stared at her eyes longer than before. "I do actually agree with him." She stared back at him and looked away. "What's yours?"

 _Red_

 _Red resembles a threat of fate linked to him and Ran_

 _A damaged threat already_

Shinichi gave her a smile. "I have none in particular."

"Honestly? There must be one."

He merely shook his head. "Honestly.

They did not talk much after that. Both of them refrained themselves from mentioning anything that could remind them of their losses. She _needed_ time to step forward and he did not mind the wait. Shinichi could not careless how this was probably wrong. At least they would only be there for only an hour before he sent her home. Whatever this was, if it was a chance given to him, he would not let it go. He didn't expect things from her. Because he knew what it was like to be in her shoes, and he wanted her to pass the storm.

In the seventh days of waiting, when he walked over to her again that night she gave him a real genuine smile.

"Hey." He greeted her softly.

"Hey."

He dared to ask. "Are you feeling better?"

She stared out there, her gaze resting at the old clock in front of them. A tear slipped out of the corner of her eyes, just when she wanted to wipe it out, Shinichi's hand came into her view.

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. _This is the time to let go._

Shinichi stood there, waiting for her as he took up the nerve. So, when he took a step closer to her, he knew it was the only chance he got. "Let's start over," he said, searching for her reaction. "Let's start over as if we haven't met before."

"My name's Kudo Shinichi, please to make your acquaintance."

Her blue eyes grew wider and she blinked. A memory blissed through her mind, reaching out to her, forcing to lock her down for the second time and threatening to steal her future.

She looked down at his offering hand that was nervously waiting for her to take it.

There were no roses out of thin air.

 _No roses._

She took a deep breath and smiled, taking Shinichi's hand in hers. It was warm this time.

"Hello, Kudo-kun. I'm Nakamori Aoko. Nice to meet you."

(Aoko)

 _A gust of wind blew her hair_

 _Whispering_

(Be Happy)

\- O -

Author's note: Um… I've always imagined what if Shinichi and Aoko meet, and this comes out. Hope there will be anyone like it before I might delete it out of embarrassment for writing this aaaackT_T (hide in the corner)


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